The older boy Chapter 1-2 (out of 6)


(c) by Loving Hamster

Date: April 2015, version 2. 5

The story and the characters are fiction.

Chapter I - Danny and Rob

It was a beautiful day, and the beginning of the summer holidays. The sun was warm and gentle, the wind made the twigs shuffle in the trees, and Danny had all the afternoon for himself to roam freely in the neighborhood. This year had not been a pleasant one. Among tricks hormones can play on a young teenager, he had a broader panel than other boys. It started innocently enough. There were nice people in his class. Very. . . nice. Mostly male. Girls were annoying, scheming, possessive of their boyfriends. They used senseless amounts of make-up and wore uncomfortable, silly shoes. Boys were plain, simple, mostly honest.

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   Many of Danny's classmates were clean too, and they smelled naturally, heavenly good. Danny was madly attracted by that smell. Or was it a smell? It was more than a pleasant smell. This was the mark of some godly power. It was not only a physical signal, but a metaphysical property of individuals that seemed to deserve it: the smart, the athletic, the smiling, the honest were the most gifted.

Danny felt the heat of the concrete block invade his body. He was lying there on his back, on the edge of the small city's stadium, under the shade of a small elm. He knew the name of each tree. He was the only one around to know them so good. At home he had a lot of nature books and he had read them all. He could start to be a naturalist walking the world around to collect small treasures such as dried plants, shells, insects and minerals. Or he could grab his camera and begin a huge collection of wildlife photographs. But he would not. He could not think about it. He could not enjoy it.

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   There was only one he wanted. One he desired. He was smart. He was athletic. He was smiling. He was honest. And Danny wanted him. And he was really cute too, he thought.

The stadium was deserted, save for two kids playing around their mom on the soccer grass. Here, on the red rubber tracks, they had run together before the holidays: Danny, Christian, Nolan, Owen, Max, Cyril, Jim and and Rob. Owen was the fastest. Always a short pace behind was Gregor, Owen's most trusted friend. Both of them were gorgeous, too, and hardened soccer players. Jim was a big brute, a soccer player too. He was too big, and most of the time smelling of sweat.

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   Rob was not even third to cross the finish most of the time, but anyway. He had this smile of his. He looked always as if he had just combed his well-furnished hair after a bath. Always neat, always cool and fresh. How many miles he ran had no effect on him. His sweat was just pure water. His face was always cool and relax, as if he just awakened from a short nap.

Danny closed his eyes. His legs still ached from the hard run he had just endured. This summer training he imposed on himself was really slow to bear fruit. Danny was not a lazy person. He was swimming and riding his bicycle hours a day. But he could not match any of these guys. Not even Rob. Rob never trained.

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   But Rob was just better, just like that. Rob did not wear these tennis or running socks you can find in the sports shops. Despite being nearly fifteen, he had just some kid's funny pictures on them. There were the grey socks with a smiling funny worm, the green ones with a cartoon dog, the yellow socks with red fringes, and the black and grey with the blue sailboats on each side.

Danny sat on his elbows. After a grunt or two, he stood up straight. This was painful. He had overstretched himself and was not able to run anymore. He wobbled aimlessly on the running tracks, still dreaming. He imagined himself in front of Rob's cute face, with his long dark hair and blue eyes. He could not imagine himself saying anything about it. This was just wrong. Rob would never go astray for Danny. Rob is straight.

Danny was heading home when his cell phone rang.

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   Tonight Max was going to the swimming pool with Nolan and Rob and invited him to come over. Danny did not panick. It was not the first time he went to the swimming pool with these cool guys. Nolan was just the most honest and discrete guy of the whole bunch, always helpful when needed for homework or occasionally sharing his experience on a good video game. Max was an occasional game companion but not really reliable. He often cancelled visits at the last minute or stopped playing a boardgame to rush to the television for his favorite show, letting you down completely. But today Danny felt strange about going to the swimming pool with Rob. or the first time in his life, he realized he was going to be forever a slave of his addiction to this wonderful and mysterious friend, who had just appeared in his life a few months ago. There was no turning back. Tonight he would suffer just looking at him, and it grew worse on each passing day.

Robin, could you just know what I feel when I look at you, he thought. Just know. I ask nothing else of you. Just know how I suffer. I know you would not let anyone suffer, I know it in your blue eyes, he thought bitterly.

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But there were no words to tell such a thing to Rob.

Chapter II - A disappearance

The evening at the swimming pool went uneventful. Danny was just obsessed by Rob but tried his best to act just as normal. But there was no fun. However after an hour or so Nolan went to him.
"We need to discuss. " he said. By the intonation of his voice, Danny knew he was going to be lectured about his behaviour. But how the hell did Nolan knew about what he was just THINKING? That could not be, unless he had read his thoughts.
Nolan took him apart and instructed him to wait for him into the locker room. Danny was scared. He did not dare to change and stayed in his swimming trunks, shivering. When the door finally opened, he was dry from evaporation, except for his hair.
Danny's fear turned to terror when he saw Rob entering. He was in his swimming trunks too, and by the look of his dry skin he must have been out of the water for a long time.

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   He was frowning and looked disturbed, as if he had just had a long conversation in which he learned a lot of distressing things. Danny could just stare at Rob's feet. Nolan shortly followed Rob and both were soon sitting close to him.

"Nolan told me everything. " Rob said.

Danny was dumbfounded. He had said nothing to anyone.

"You know, this is not gonna work. I'm just trying to date Chloe right now, and I really don't need you to interfere. I mean. . . I'm just a straight guy, you know, I'm not into feet or other guys or things like that. I just cannot do that. "

"I didn't ask you anything", said Danny, who felt betrayed and very humiliated.

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"It's the way you look at me, man. It's very disturbing! People are just beginning to wonder and to talk about it. If this continues, I will be out of play. Chloe will just laugh at me. I'll be finished just because of you!"

Rob's voice was cold and merciless. The foundations of Danny's beliefs about him were shaken by a violent earthquake.

"Now you take your clothes out of here and go away, you faggot! I will never get naked in front of you again!" Rob continued, angry.

Shaking, Danny reached for his clothes. But Rob had not finished.

"And THIS. . . " he said waving his sock around "is not meant to satisfy your fancies or fetish-thing or. . .

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   whatever! Don't try even to touch them or. . . just don't look at them! This is just disgusting!"

Danny left the locker room, leaving a trail of falling underwear behind him. He was crying and destroyed. His god Rob was gone. He was empty.

Nolan followed him to the next door. At that hour of the night the swimming pool was nearly deserted.

"I'm sorry" said Nolan. "I'm really sorry. "

Nolan had picked up the dropped clothes from the tiled ground and gently disposed them on the bench.

Danny was angry against Nolan but he had not the strenght to fight. He just ignored him and got hastily dressed. Before he knew it he was out in the fresh air of dusk.

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In a heartbeat Nolan was out too, still half-naked in his trunks, his back against the main doors, his arms crossed. He seemed unhappy. But Danny did not notice him.

If someone saw Nolan at that instant, he would see a boy, about the same age as Danny, with a soft, very pale white skin. His dark brown black hair were thin and elegantly cropped, and parted down in the middle. He had dark eyes of indefinite color, a thin nose and chin. He was thin but not skinny, his body not too muscular but rather light-framed. He looked just delicate.

Danny walked straight ahead. He did not go for home, but followed the old rail tracks into the dark. The time passed without counting. The night fell completely, with half a crescent moon.

After just more than a mile the old railroad tracks crossed the river over a huge brick viaduct. Nolan followed behind him, silent as a cat and still in his swimming trunks. When he understood where they arrived, Nolan stepped up the pace.



Danny went straight to the highest point, where the viaduct crossed the small river hundreds of feet below, among scattered rocks and boulders. After a short hesitation due an instant of intense fear, he stepped into the void.

He did not fall.

Dumbfounded, he noticed that a firm grip on his back prevented him from splattering his bones on the stones below.

"Don’t. " the voice of Nolan said.

It took a while for Danny to understand that he was not hanging to a protruding hook, or a nail in the railing. It was Nolan's grip. His strength was incredible.

Danny looked back. Nolan was pressed hard against the railing, breathing hard. He was struggling to keep balance. The illusion of a superhuman force disappeared and Danny tried to grab the wall before they both fell to their death. Suddenly the rusted railing failed and broke. Danny dropped ten inches and his clothes scraped against the wall.

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   Nolan cried in pain. Droplets of blood dropped on Danny's face as he climbed his way back to life. With a last grunt of effort, Nolan hoisted Danny to safety with his left hand. While he wiped the blood from his face he saw Nolan's right hand deeply scratched on some rusty remains of the old railing. It was bleeding.

Danny quickly removed his T-shirt and rolled it around Nolan's hand to quench the bleeding. "We go to the hospital" he simply added. "Can you walk?"

"I have thorns in my feet" Nolan answered meekly.

"You want me to remove them?" Danny asked. Nolan nodded.

It was dark, but Danny could find most of the bramble thorns by touch and gently remove them. He noticed how soft and sweet the skin was. Danny proposed to give up his shoes, but Nolan proudly declined. “Be careful of the thorns”, Danny instructed Nolan as they headed back to the city. Nolan stumbled once or twice, and Danny took his free hand in his to support him.

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After a while they were back on firm ground, but Nolan's hand did not leave his.

Soon they reached the hospital grounds, Nolan stopped. Danny looked at his face, he was crying.

"May I kiss you?" Nolan asked.

Danny nodded, and they did it.

Danny lost the track of time as he felt dizzy like in a dream, while Nolan was taken away by the doctors.

The next day, Nolan was not at school. He was not at home either. He was not at the hospital. He and his father had disappeared (he told one day that her mother had died a long time ago). But Danny found a letter in his mailbox. It was not just a letter, but a masterpiece. The paper was thick and expensive, the writing exquisite calligraphy. "I must leave now. I would like to be with you but I can't.

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   I will be back when you have grown up. I hope you will kiss me again. At least once. You owe me that. I love you. "

Nolan's disappearance wast just seen as a moving to another house. No one at school did make a fuss about it. No one at school knew what really happened. Only Danny was anxious.

Days passed, then weeks. Danny dreamed the last evening with Nolan, the only he ever had, again and again.

Why did Nolan betray him? Why did he tell anything to Rob? Or did he? Was he trying to help him? Maybe would he have said nothing, events would have unfolded even worse. Now Rob was gone for good, in his mind too. That was better, he thought. Rob wasn’t a good guy.

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   Not to him anyway. In just a few minutes Nolan had wiped the illusion away, like a wizard.

Weeks became months, and Nolan became history. Months turned to years, and history turned to legend. His legend. During five years Danny began to hallucinate. First he saw Nolan in a triathlon race. But he could not find him back in the crowd. Then Danny began to attend triathlon races regularly, and he even participated. But Nolan could not be found. Then he tried marathon. Then he saw him again. But this was impossible. He just looked too young. He resigned his search, but continued to run marathons and triathlons.

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   Then he saw him a third time, from afar. He could not believe it. Maybe it was the same guy as before, not Nolan but looking the same. But again, he could not find him in the crowd to verify.

At 19, Danny had become one of the best marathoniens of the country. He was admitted to university and was respected by all his family and friends. Rob never spoke to him again, and Danny did not miss him.

Nolan had not come back, and sometimes Danny could be found crying, holding the mailbox where he found the letter. .