My first time


I’m going to leave it to you, the reader, to decide whether my story is one I’ve experienced or if it’s simply a fantasy. Whichever one pleases you the most, that’s what it is.

- - - - -

When the story I’m about to share transpired I was a widower having lost my wife three years before. If you’be been there you know what that’s like. If you haven’t, it’s like this.

When a spouse dies you find that the life you led is gone. That nothing is, nor will it ever be, the same. The shared friends you had slowly drift away, the places you used to go to are too painful to revisit.

After a time you make the decision to continue living. You begin to look deep inside to see who you are, you seek to find those things that are part of you that were put away in some deep recess of your mind during your marriage.

You let go of who you were, you examine who you are and you think about who you will be. You decide to seek pleasure as your pain begins to ebb, you decide to discover new experiences as the ones you once enjoyed slowly fade into memory.

I wondered what it would be like to be with another guy. To be naked together, to watch him masturbate as I masturbated. To touch a cock. To taste a man.

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- - - - -

We hooked up through a personals site and agreed to meet for coffee. We were both in similar situations, alone after the end of a long marriage. I ‘d lost my wife to cancer, he’d lost his to the passage of time and to drifting away. While reflecting upon his life he too had found an innate desire to experience being with a man, but as that desire drove him forward a part of him wondered what the hell he was doing. Just as I wondered.

Was what compelled me a healthy desire, a need to complete myself?Or was it some crazy fantasy that was about to go too far?A phrase that had popped into my mind became a refrain…. ”You cannot unsuck a cock. ”

He’d arrived at the coffee shop first. I had no problem recognizing him as he sat at a corner table nervously looking around. He looked just like his picture, slender but not skinny, hair graying at the temples, a face that was beginning to show the effects of time. But the thing that was most prominent was the look in his eyes. Though he smiled when I walked up to the table, the sadness and pain in his eyes made it clear that the smile was simply a mask. A mask I knew well, one that I saw every time I looked into a mirror.

We talked about who we were for a while, nothing sexual, just getting an idea of who the other was and how well we'd fit together as friends. We’d agreed that there had to be some connection outside of a mutual desire to explore, we knew we had to be friends first.

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  We soon found we had a lot in common and I found myself liking this man, it felt as if we’d known each other for years. . not just minutes. We spoke freely and openly about the path our lives had taken. Still, when we began to talk about our mutual desire to have an encounter with someone of the same sex the conversation became difficult. It’s one thing to think about being in bed with a guy. . talking to another man about it meant we were actually taking the first steps towards making it happen. My mind kept asking what the hell I was doing, asking if I was sure about this whole thing. My body told me I was. I had a hard on that wouldn’t quit, I felt the wetness of pre-cum running down the inside of my thigh. I shifted slightly in an attempt to keep it away from the fabric of my jeans. I sure as hell didn’t want to walk around with a wet spot between my legs

He must have noticed my fidgeting as he asked me if I was as turned on as he was. My admission that I was lead to us agreeing to meet again, this time in private. We set a date, we set a time, and I gave him directions to my house.

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We stood up to leave, I shook his hand and a picture flashed though my mind. Of where I wanted that hand to be.

- - - - -

I heard his car pull into my driveway. I took a deep breath, as I stood up I whispered to myself“Here we go.

I went outside to greet him. We shook hands and I felt just a bit of moisture in his palm. The knowledge that he was also nervous was assuring. We made a few pleasantries as we stepped inside. I asked about the drive, he replied it was fine and remarked that it looked as if I lived in a nice neighborhood. He sat on the couch, I moved to the wet bar to make us drinks. I sat down in a chair across the coffee table from him and we began to make small talk. Soon he took a deep breath and said that we had to stop dancing around the issue of why he was here, that we had to talk about what we wanted. He went on to say that it wouldn’t go anywhere, that nothing would happen unless both of us were comfortable and wanted it.

I looked him in the eyes and said I wanted to take my clothes off. And that I’d love to see him naked.

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We both stood and watched each other as we disrobed. He unbuttoned and began to remove his shirt and I saw that his chest was mostly bare…a few hairs around his nipples but nothing more. He unzipped his pants, he began to push them down and my eyes were riveted by the dark little spot on the front of his low cut briefs. He was dripping…and so was I.

His pants were off, he reached for the hem of his underwear. I had only gotten as far as my shirt at this point as I was enthralled by the sight of him undressing. Now I stopped completely…mesmerized by what I was seeing.

He pushed his shorts down over his hips, the tip of his cock appeared over the hem then the entire length of it sprang free. He was circumcised, just as I am. And hard as a rock.

A strand of pre-cum stretched from the tip of his penis to the front of his shorts. As he drew them further down his body the strand broke free and became a stream of moisture dripping off of the end of his cock onto the floor.

I stood there a moment as he finished removing his underwear, while he stood there naked and erect in front of me. I began to wrap my mind around what was happening. I wasn’t at the gym, this wasn’t a high school locker room, I was at home, and here I was looking at a naked man.

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  A man who wanted to be naked in front of me. Who wanted me to touch him. And who I wanted to touch me.

He looked into my eyes and saw the lust that was taking over me. His erect cock bobbed, I could see it getting even harder. I felt as if I were hypnotized, my entire being was transfixed by what I saw before me.

As if awakening from a trance I realized he was speaking to me, softly, telling me that it was my turn. There was a tingling in my loins that was far stronger than anything I had ever felt before. I wanted, I needed to be naked in front of him too. I dropped my jeans and my underwear at the same moment. I was aching to have him look at my naked body.

We stood there for what seemed to be an eternity, taking in what we saw, what we were doing, frightened yet thrilled by what we knew we were going to do soon.

I suggested that we sit back down for a moment as I wanted to regain my composure. And I wanted to savor what I saw before me, by what was about to happen.

I asked him what his thoughts were now that we’d taken a first step.

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  I wondered if he was as determined as I to go on, to turn a fantasy into reality. He replied that he’d never been more ready.

I stood up from my chair, I walked over to the couch and sat down beside him. Without a word I reached down and took my dick into my left hand. I took a bit of pre-cum onto the fingers of my right hand and brought it to my lips. I looked over and saw that he was following my lead and doing the same.

I looked up and into his eyes, then I reached over to take some of his pre-cum. My fingers touched the end of his penis, he gasped and a bit more wetness escaped. I gathered up as much as I could, I brought it to my mouth and licked it off of my fingertips.

My hand found it’s way to the head of my own shaft, I began to spread my pre-cum over the head and down the length of my dick.
    My hips lifted as I began to stroke, all the while my eyes were locked onto his crotch.

    I certainly am no stranger to the touch of my hand on my dick, but the feelings that came over me that moment were far more intense than anything I’d ever experienced. I was masturbating, jacking off, in front of a naked man, this man sitting next to me. I watched as he too reached down and began to slowly stroke himself.

    I reached over, I ran my fingers up from the bottom of his ball sack to the top.


      As my hand reached the base of his cock he stopped his stroking and removed his hand. Minetook over, I began to stroke his dick in the way only a guy knew how to do.

    I felt his hand on the inside of my thigh, I felt his fingers move up towards my crotch, to lightly touch my scrotum. I reflexively pulled back just as they made contact. Thinking that I hadn’t wanted him touching me he moved his hand away. I begged him to touch me again.

    His fingers wrapped around my dick, he moved his hand up to the top of my cock. He took the moisture he found there and began to spread it up and down the length of my dick.

    For the next few minutes we stayed like that, touching each other, stroking each other, getting closer and closer, coming to the edge of orgasm. I sensed he was about to cum and I stopped jerking him off. I held him erect as I bent down until my face was only inches from the tip of his cock. I paused a moment. I was there. I was right on the edge of sucking another man off. I briefly thought about touching his slit with my tongue, of licking the pre-cum off his tip.

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      But I did not.

    Instead I opened my mouth and took him inside of it. As he gasped, as he cried out, I could swear I felt something hit my tongue, I tasted just a bit of something I’d never tasted before. A little bitter, a little musty, but most certainly not unpleasant.

    Whatever trepidation I’d had was gone. I became immersed in the moment. The sensation of his throbbing cock inside of my mouth drove me to suck even harder, to move ever move quickly.

    His hips began to move up and down, the feeling of him fucking my mouth was almost more than I could take. I heard his moans, I heard him pleading for me not to stop. I wanted to feel him cum in my mouth more than I had ever wanted anything in my life.

    I wanted to taste him, to suck the juices out of him, to swallow it down. I touched his balls ever so slightly. That was all he needed. He went over the edge, he exploded inside my mouth, I felt his cock erupting and his semen spraying against the back of my throat.

    His hands grabbed the back of my head, I kept bobbing and sucking, I kept running my tongue up and down his penis until the thrusting stopped, until his hips fell back down onto the couch.

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      Until his dick began to soften and began to shrink.

    His hands left the back of my head, they fell to my shoulders and he lifted me off of him. He gently pushed me back into a sitting position and I watched as his head began to move towards my cock.

    Every fiber of my being yearned to feel him take me inside, to feel the warmth and wetness of another man’s mouth upon me.

    I felt his breath upon my crotch, his head blocked off the sight of my pulsing cock. I felt the touch of his lips just before his tongue reached out and made circles around the head of my dick.

    His mouth enveloped the length of me. I cried out, I thrust upwards. I wanted to wait, I wanted to have this feeling go on forever but I was too aroused, sucking his cock had brought me to the brink and feeling his mouth upon me took me over it.

    A wave of pleasure washed over me, I felt as if I were leaving my body, that my very being was flowing towards my loins and erupting out of my cock.

    I slowly returned from the orgasmic heaven I had found, I sat there…spent. And I knew that what I had just experienced was only the beginning.

    This was my first…but it wasn’t going to be my last.